Custody

It is best when parents work out custody arrangements that are child focused based on the way they both want to raise their child or children. When parents agree, parents have a right to choose how to raise their child without government intervention (assuming they are both are fit parents and not in Children’s Court).

However, when parents disagree, a Family Law Judge has to make decisions about your child or children. That should be the last resort. We have great Family Law Judges, but they use a limited tool box to make decisions about your child or children. Their tool box is not as expansive as can be worked out by parents themselves. That is why it is best for parents to at least try, in good faith, to work together on a parenting plan for their child or children.

When both attorneys seek a child focused outcome for the family, that can help. But often, one parent is being unreasonable, or is improperly using custody litigation to pay less support or to settle old grievances from the relationship. When that happens, the custody dispute will likely be decided by a judge instead of the parents who love and know their child.  

Other times, two loving parents both want more custody of their child or children than the other parent is willing to, or should, give. Sometimes parents cannot agree on something significant for their child’s life which a judge will be called on to resolve.

In court, you and the other parent will present your declarations, evidence and testimony to the judge, with cross-examination. The judge will then make custody orders if you were unable to reach an agreement with the mediators provided by the court at no cost to parents.

If both parents agree, a private mediator, often an experienced former Family Law Judge, can be hired to help parents reach a custody agreement. Using mediation, or a voluntary settlement conference, gives parents more control of the decisions affecting their child or children. For mediation to work, both parents need to be motivated to resolving custody issues without going to court. Both parents have to be motivated to create their own parenting plan and holiday schedule that accounts for the parents work routines and vacations, the child’s school schedule and extracurricular activities, and the child's age and bond with each parent. 

Experienced family law attorneys can help guide parents in this process to assist the parents in creating a new parenting plan for their child or children. We are here to help you regarding your custody issues in a child focused way.  

If you would like to discuss your custody issues based on the specific facts of your case, please set up a consultation.